Neurodivergent Back to School 101
A shout out to all the neurodivergent families preparing to tackle their first, last or yet another year of school. The anxiety is real so go easy on your little (or big) ND people including yourself.
These are my recommendations, in no particular order, to help you navigate the first week of back to school with your neurodivergent kiddos:
Do the photo shots on another day. The second day or the second week of school still counts as the beginning of a new school year
If you can arrange an early pick up on the first day or better still the first week do it
Pack your child food that they will want to eat, that they can unwrap without help, and that they can eat relatively quickly (maximum time for playing)
Pack a frozen drink ideally in a cardboard carton like a juice box, even if it isn’t fully thawed holding and squeezing a frozen cold drink will help to regulate the nervous system
Don’t ask them ‘How was your day?’ when you pick them up as this is an unnecessary demand that may result in a meltdown
Trust that your child will tell you about school when they have had a chance to regulate and destress
Have food ready (that they will want to eat) when you pick them up
Lower demands at home for a while and help them with tasks that they may have been able to do but appear to be struggling with like unpacking and packing their school bag
Trust that they will adjust to their new school, class, or environment soon and be able to contribute to home chores soon enough
Don’t tell them that they will have a ‘good day’ or that ‘school is fun’ because you can’t control their experiences. It is better to say ‘Changes are hard and there is a lot of new things happening right now. We (you, your teacher, and me) can work this out together as a team’
Let your child know you have been thinking of them ‘I was eating my lunch and I was thinking about you eating your lunch’
Provide plenty of wind down time before bed, a cool drink of water, listening to music, sharing a story with parent, drawing or sketching
Remember to care for yourself also. The more rested you are the better you will be at sharing your calm
Please remember we were never meant to do this job alone. Reach out to others if you need extra support like getting your kids to school or advocating for their needs.
Belinda is a neurodivergent psychologist (educational and developmental registrar) with extensive personal and professional experience supporting her own and other neurodivergent families to navigate the complexities of school, home, and the wider community to better understand and provide for neurodivergent learners.
